Jeremy Kyle Chat Show Host

Dear Mr Kyle,  

I used to tune into your chat show on ITV quite regularly as it made me feel better about myself as a person, but over time I’ve stopped as I realised that I’m no better than some of the people you get on your show.

The reason I say this Jeremy (May I call you Jeremy?) is because for the last year or so I have become addicted to doodling and it’s threatening to ruin my marriage. Whenever I see a pen I pick it up and start to doodle, it can be anywhere, at home, work, the bank you name it and if there is no paper I’ll just scribble on a table. It has got so bad that I recently lost my job as an accountant as I wasn’t getting any work done.

My wife has taken all the pens from our house to stop me from using them but I just buy more behind her back, with me not working there is not enough money coming in and she is threatening to leave if I don’t get help. She has suggested we come on your show, but I really don’t think I want to, it’s got nothing to do with the studio audience or the millions watching at home, it is because I know exactly what you’re going to say and that’s PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT!

Am I right, I’m not wrong?

Yours sincerely

Oliver Trout