Ed Sheeran Singer/Songwriter

Dear Mr Sheeran,                        

I’m not sure if you know me, but my name is Ollie and I live in Godalming, an old market town near Gulidford in Surrey and I work as a kitchen assistant in an old people’s home. No? Ok fair enough.

I’m writing to you today because I was wondering how you were getting on with building your Lego house, the last I heard was you had picked up all the pieces and were ready to get started. The reason I ask this Ed, (Do you mind if I call you Ed?) is that I had a similar plan not so long ago. The problem is I just don’t know how to get started or if I have enough pieces, not to mention colour arrangements. To add to this stress the local council are now trying to stop me from building one as it will be a distraction for passing traffic.

If there is any advice you can give me on all of this I would appreciate it. Also one more thing, how do I paint my girlfriend by numbers and colour her in? I say girlfriend, more a girl who lives next door who one day might be my friend.  

Yours Thankfully

Oliver Trout