Mary Berry Food Writer and Television Presenter

Dear Mrs Berry,                

I have never watched the Great British bake off as it’s not really my cup of tea and cake, but I know people who have and they tell me how good it is and how they admire your input on the show, so keep up the good work Mary (May I call you Mary?).

The reason I write to you today Mary is that we are having our own bake off competition at work on Tuesday week and wondered if you would be kind enough to judge it for us. I know you’re probably very busy cooking and you’ll have stuff in the oven and that, but if you don’t ask you don’t get.

We are Sunrise Senior Living an elderly people’s home in Peasmarsh near Guildford, so if you do come along, we might be able to sort out some kind of discount on a room for you.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Ollie Trout

Pastry Chef

Heston Blumenthal Chef

Dear Mr Blumenthal,

I am a massive fan of your work and have been for many years, you've really revolutionised the way in which we see food and are an inspiration to aspiring chefs. You have certainly opened my eyes to all the wonderful things you can do with food. I used to wolf my dinner down as soon as it was ready to eat and that would be that, now I look and admire it for five minutes, play around with it and think of elaborate names to call it. Then I realise it has actually gone cold and I have to make it again, but that’s not the point it’s the experimentation which makes it so much more interesting.

Now I work in a kitchen at an old people’s home so it’s difficult to be outrageous with food ideas as the residents are very set in their ways, they like what they like and boy do they let you know about it. At home though I can experiment as much as I like and having been concocting some crazy dishes of my own some of which Heston (Is it OK to call you Heston?) you may be interested in using. The first one I came up with just the other week, I was hungry so I decided to make myself a cheese and ham sandwich, I saw that we had both wholemeal bread and white bread available so in the heat of the moment thought why not use a slice of each, I then buttered both slices and added the cheese and ham, if you thought that was crazy enough I then noticed we had some coleslaw in the fridge and added it to the sandwich. My friends and family thought I was nuts but when they tried it they loved it. I then set about naming this unusual lunchtime snack and came up with the ‘Cheese, Ham and Coleslaw on Wholemeal and White Bread Spectacular’.

The second one I've called the Pork Sword, I mean it’s just a title at the moment but I’m thinking pork in the shape of swords.

Now Heston, I'm quite willing to let you have these as your own without charge, but some recognition of my work would be much appreciated. I look forward to hearing your reply and any questions on the recipes I will be happy to answer.

Yours experimentally,

Oliver Trout
(Kitchen Assistant)