Ronnie Corbett Actor and Comedian

Dear Mr Corbett,                              

Having finished my Christmas dinner on Christmas day, which is a tradition in our family, I was feeling a little low and not as full as I had hoped, due to the fact that my Mum had forgotten the stuffing, something which I would perhaps have not let bother me had she not forgotten the pigs in blankets only two years previous. It was becoming an all too familiar story and I couldn’t help but think that next year it will be the turkey that’s missing. I sat back on the sofa, turned on the TV and began to simmer down slowly from this latest setback.

As I flicked through the channels, bypassing the usual repeats such as You’ve Been Framed, if you’ve seen someone fall over once, you’ve seen it a thousand times, I then came across your sketch show The One Ronnie, ‘Ah, this is it’ I thought, nothing like a trusted comedy legend like yourself to cheer me up, I laughed away as the brilliantly thought out sketches came thick and fast and all the turmoil from stuffing gate had all but left my mind. Good old Corbett, he’s saved Christmas day!

My laughter turned to anger and resentment though when I came across the sketch with you dressed as a dog looking for work. That, Ronnie (can I call you Ronnie?), was a sketch very familiar to the one I have been working on in my quest to become a comedy writer. Not only that, there was a sketch with you and David Walliams as superheroes which also very closely resembled yet another sketch I was putting together, well only the fact that you were superheroes but that’s not the point.

If you think for one second that climbing into people’s brains and stealing their thoughts is a good way of pursuing your illustrious career, you are very much mistaken. You may be a comedy genius, alongside Ronnie Barker, with the amazing Two Ronnies lasting an incredible sixteen years, which includes sketches that will live long in the memory and comedy timing which is second to none. A particular favourite of mine being the four candles sketch, gets me every time, just brilliant….er anyway this has been very damaging to my plans and if I’d had any stuffing with my Christmas dinner it would have been knocked out of me for sure. But mark my words Corbett you haven’t heard the last of me. I’ll be back and it won’t be long before you’ll have to step aside for a new king of comedy. Just to clarify, that’s me.

That said, you are a legend and if you wish to meet with me and discuss my fledgling career as a comedy writer I am free every Wednesday afternoon, apart from the 9^th April as I have a dental appointment. I eagerly await your response.

And so it’s goodnight from me.

Oliver Trout