Nigella Lawson Journalist Broadcaster Television Chef

Dear Mrs Lawson, 

I know you have been in the news a lot recently for all the wrong reasons and people are quick to judge you and put you down, but I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon today Nigella (Do you mind if I call you Nigella?) because I think you are a proper MILF.

So Nigella I love to cook and often have friends over for a dinner parties and I like to think I have a good skill when it comes to this area, my friends certainly think so and never tire in telling me how delicious my food is. Not only this but I also like to have fun with my menus and often have a play on words much to the amusement of my friends who by the way think I'm hilarious. Now Nigella I have some friends coming over again this week and I have done my menu theme about you in a dedication to your work and I thought I’d do you the honour in showing you. I hope you enjoy Nigella.

Starter

 Arti ‘choke’ hearts

Or

Class A sparagus soup

Main course

Steak and Betrayale pie served with snort-eed potatoes

Or

Strangled neck of lamb served with ‘mashed’ potato

Dessert

Chocolate affairs

Or

Fruit cake

Kind regards,

O.Trout