Sir Bruce Forsyth Television Presenter and Entertainer

Dear Mr Forsyth,

Having tuned in to watch Strictly Come Dancing the other night, I noticed you were still very much alive and kicking, ok maybe not kicking but alive, so it is a credit to you that you’re still presenting and performing at your age. I do want to say though if you do have trouble reading off the Autocue, don’t worry people will be patient and if you’re concerned that recycling old jokes week in and week out is a problem, it’s fine, people understand that it’s difficult to come up with new ones. Also if you do need to sit down or go for a piss during the show don’t be embarrassed about it, Tess Daly is more than capable of doing the show alone for a bit.

Now Sir Bruce (Do you mind me calling you Sir Bruce?) as you have no plans to retire any-time soon, I was thinking perhaps you could update some of your catchphrases, below I have come up with a list of new ones you might be interested in using;

‘Me again’

‘Haven’t I done well?’

‘Nice to still be here to be here nice’

‘You get nothing for a pair….oh sorry wrong show’

‘You’re my favourites….who are you again?’

‘Give us a twirl….no seriously I need chocolate my blood sugar is right down’

What do you think Sir Bruce? I reckon that would go down a treat on Saturday night, feel free to use them as and when.

All the best

O. Trout