Tinie Tempah Rapper

Dear Mr Tempah,         

I would like to say firstly, congratulations on your achievements so far in the music world. Unfortunately only one of your songs has made it onto my I-pod so far and that is Written in the Stars and to be honest I do skip it quite a lot now, but don’t be disheartened by that, it comes down to personal taste that’s all.

Now Tinie, (May I call you Tinie?) I'm not sure whether your name was supposed to reflect your personality in any way but I have it on good terms that you haven’t got a tiny temper at all and you are a very laid back, easy going guy. The reason I know this Tinie is that a friend of a friend’s husband’s cousin’s work colleague is a good mate of yours and has revealed that back in your school days you missed a bus you used to run for and instead of reacting angrily, you just patiently sat and waited for the next one to arrive. On another occasion when you found out you had got a record deal you said to your mate ‘let’s have a toast, celebration, get a glass out’, but your friend was unable to find any clean glasses and had to wash some up, but you didn't kick up at fuss, you just sat and waited calmly.

I know it’s none of my business and it’s probably too late to change your name now but I think instead of calling yourself Tinie Tempah you perhaps should have been named Large Patience, anyway no biggy.

All the best

Oliver Trout   

(Anger management counsellor)